So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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