If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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