maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
what day is it and did you see me today?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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