i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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