Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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