fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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