i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize