I don't think brook has ever known best
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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