I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
