he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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