i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
