Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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