Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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