Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
