There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
