I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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