Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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