He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
