you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
