I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
