I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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