i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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