I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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