Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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