did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
