I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
