that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
