I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
