Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize