one might say we're banned from that church
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
