I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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