Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
