i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
