THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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