U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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