Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
did you just send me my own nude
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
