just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
