Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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