oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
