dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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