and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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