lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
