I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
