They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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