I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
