Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I am available for nakedness
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
