you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I stole a fireplace last night.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
