just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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