im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
