How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
