why didn't you poke me back
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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