I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize