my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I need to calm my uterus...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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