I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
