Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize