I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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